


We’re A Crooked Love, In A Straight Line Down

by octothorpetopus



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Getting Back Together, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octothorpetopus/pseuds/octothorpetopus
Summary: Danny never expected this call, and CJ never expected to see him come back. It’s never been easy for them, but after awhile, the pieces are bound to fall into place... right?
Relationships: Danny Concannon/C. J. Cregg
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

Danny picked up the phone halfway through the 8th ring, having barely heard it over the crashing waves outside his hotel room. He’d been sitting on the terrace, head buried in his laptop, letting the sea breeze ruffle his overgrown red hair. The funny thing was, he recognized the number, but he couldn’t remember why.

“Hello?”

“Danny?” 

“Who is this?” Over the crackle of the telephone, he couldn’t tell who it was, which he’d later kick himself for. Only that whoever it was made him think of early morning briefings and late nights typing away in the back of the press room. 

“Danny, it’s Carol. Carol Fitzpatrick?”

“Sorry, Carol.” Danny absentmindedly picked up the phone base and carried it as far as the cord would let him, which happened to be just far enough that he could lean against the door that went out to the terrace. “How are you?” He didn’t like this, the struggling to make small talk. He had never been much good at it, but when he saw the same people every day, he didn’t have to be. Then he’d let the last 16 months slip through his fingers with little more than some emails, and now here he was, trying his best not to talk about the weather. “How are you?”

“Busy, but you know that.”

“Yeah.”

“Took me a while to track you down. The Philippines, huh? Vacation?”

“Rebel group occupying the American embassy.”

“Huh.”

“I would’ve thought she’d know all about it by now. It’s been three days.” Silently, he cursed himself. He couldn’t even get through two minutes with a woman he actually considered a friend without bringing up  _ her.  _ He’d sworn he would never be that guy a long time ago, the kind of guy who spent all his time pining away over lost love. 

“That’s…” There was quiet, and some faint chatter. “Sorry. Anyway, like I was saying, that’s kind of why I’m calling.”

“What do you mean?” Danny looked down at his hands and realized he’d spent so long outside today that sunburn had turned his skin red. One downside to being a redhead- he burned like nothing else.

“You know Leo McGarry had a heart attack, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I was sorry to hear it. Is he okay?”

“He is, but he decided to step away from the White House for awhile. So, the president needed a replacement, and he asked Leo for his recommendation, and, well… it’s CJ.”

“What’s CJ?”

“The president’s new chief of staff.” Danny dropped the phone, barely managing to catch it between his knee and the wall before it hit the ground.

“ _ What? _ ” 

“Leo recommended her and the president offered her the job the next day. Sorry I didn’t call sooner, but I thought she’d need a minute to settle in.”

“Oh. Wow. Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, tell her congrats for me, would you?”

“Of course, but…” Carol sighed on the other end of the line. “Danny, do you get what I’m saying? She’s the chief of staff. Toby’s taken over as press secretary. CJ no longer deals directly with the press corps.”

“No, Carol, I understand what the chief of staff does-” All at once, what she was really saying hit Danny like a truck and he almost dropped the phone again. “...oh.”

“The president is heading to New York tomorrow, leaving CJ at the White House. If you want to have a chance to, uh, ‘congratulate’ her yourself, that’s probably your best chance.”

“Carol, I’m in the Philippines. I’m on assignment. I can’t just drop everything and-”

“Look, I’m just giving you the information. What you choose to do with it is up to you.” She paused. “Bye, Danny.” Before he could respond, the line clicked and the dial tone replaced Carol’s voice. Danny replaced the phone on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. He couldn’t leave, not now as things were heating up. His editor wouldn’t allow it. But then there was CJ. Even if nothing had changed, the simple thought of her was enough to make his head spin. And it had changed. It was always supposed to be a temporary job, all White House jobs were. And yet, even though Danny had seen a half a dozen press secretaries come and go, he couldn’t imagine that room without her. He had to go, he realized, if just to close the proverbial door. He glanced once out the glass door to the sparkling blue-green ocean, then back at his suitcase, only half-unpacked after a week, and picked up the phone again. “I need a ticket on the next flight to Dulles. Six o’clock? That’s in an hour. No, that’s fine. I’ll make it work. Thanks.” In five minutes, he was packed, out the door in ten, and an hour later, he was launching into the sky on a nineteen hour flight to see the woman he hadn’t seen in almost two years.

Danny had considered a great many things on the 19-hour flight from Manila, including what he would say, what he would wear, what she would do when she saw him. The one thing he did not consider was that he had asked Carol to get him a pass, and that was how he wound up standing outside the security desk in the White House lobby after almost 24 consecutive hours either in-flight or in an airport. He dialed shakily on his cell phone, praying he still remembered the right number. 

“Come on, Carol, come on,” he murmured, glancing sideways at the security guard, who was watching him unsettlingly closely. The phone was picked up somewhere around the fifth ring.

“White House Communications Department, Will Bailey speaking. Who the hell is calling at… 1:37 on a Tuesday?”

“Hey, Will. It’s Danny Concannon.” Will, out of all the various people that had gone in and out of the west wing during Bartlet’s tenure, was one of Danny’s favorites. He wasn’t as aloof as Toby, but wasn’t as much of a pushover as Sam, either. And by god was he a talented speechwriter.

“Danny! To what do I owe the pleasure at, again, 1:37 in the morning?”

“Sorry, Will. Is Carol there?”

“She went home a while ago. Like, you know, a normal person.”

“Damn. Is CJ still in?”

“As far as I know. Margaret just walked by, so I assume so. What’s up?”

“I’m trying to surprise her, but listen.” Danny shook his head. He’d never felt self-conscious in the White House before, why now? “I forgot to ask Carol to get me a pass, can you-”

“I got you. And hey, more power to you on the CJ thing. Personally, she terrifies me, but-”

“Will?”

“Yep. One sec.” True to his word, only a couple minutes later, Danny had his pass and followed the familiar path back to the west wing bullpen, only realizing once he was standing outside the press room that her office was no longer in the bullpen. He knew the path to Leo’s office (or what had been Leo’s office, and was now CJ’s) less well, but managed to get there, only stopping to ask one exhausted-looking intern for directions. It had been a long time, almost two years, since he’d set foot in the White House. It wasn’t so much the building itself that he had missed. In fact, he probably could have gone the rest of his life without going through three layers of security and then trying to make his way through the dusty maze of hallways that made up the west wing ever again. But he did miss trading jokes with Charlie and Josh while he waited for an appointment with CJ or the president, the oddly incredible coffee they served in the mess hall, and waking up every morning knowing exactly where he was headed, and that she would be there when he arrived. Now, it was a new country every few days, a new hotel room, and no idea what would face him when he got there. In journalism school, he had decided nothing was ever going to stop him from doing his job, from telling the truth and being the best damn journalist the world had ever seen. But the more time he had spent sitting in that press room, staring up at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, the less he remembered that promise he had made to himself. Truthfully, that was why he had left. It was too much, letting her drag him along, even though he knew she never meant to. It was like there was some kind of invisible string tying them together, and nothing, no amount of arguing or distance, could break it. 

The sign on the door was different.

That was the first thing Danny noticed.

He hardly used to notice it, because it had had Leo McGarry’s name on it for 6 years, but it was new.

_ Chief Of Staff _

_ Claudia Jean Cregg _

Her name looked good under that title. Glancing into the room, he saw Leo’s secretary- Margaret, that was her name- still sitting at her desk. That was a good sign. Danny knocked once on the doorframe as he entered, flinching when Margaret jumped.

“Oh! Hi!” He smiled, not really sure what he was supposed to say.

“Hey. Is CJ still here?” Margaret frowned and rifled through a planner on her desk.

“Do you have an appointment, because I’m not sure-”

“She’ll see me. Just tell her Danny Concannon is here to see her.”

“Look, Danny, it’s really late, and she’s just about to head out. Would you come back tomorrow? I can pencil you in for…” She scanned the planner up and down. “She’s got a free five minutes at 6:30.”

“Margaret, really, I promise, if you just tell her it’s me-”

“Danny, you don’t have an appointment, and I really-”

“Margaret?” Both of them froze, snapping their heads towards the closed office door from behind which the voice had come. “Margaret, who are you arguing with?”

“No one.” Margaret sent a pointed, surprisingly harsh glance at Danny. “Just-” But then the door opened, and she didn’t get a chance to finish. CJ had her face buried in a file, but looked up just as she crossed the threshold. For a moment, she didn’t seem to register, and Danny’s heart sunk into his stomach. Had she forgotten him, somehow? Or was it just that his appearance mattered so little to her that there was no discernible change in her demeanor?

Her eyes flicked between him and Margaret, and then to the floor as she set the files in her hands aside. She started towards him, keeping her steps deliberate as if she was struggling to stay balanced, picking up speed as she crossed the room, which seemed to stretch with every step she took until she was right there in front of him. Without a single word leaving either of their lips, she threw her arms around his neck, sending both of them stumbling towards the bookshelf. Danny, who had been bracing himself for a slap, or maybe to be decked into the wall, kept her steady, hardly hesitating before returning the hug.

“Hey there,” he said, and tried not to blush when she buried her face in his shoulder. Her nails scraped the back of his neck, sending an electric shock down his spine. He almost didn’t want her to let him go, even though her hair was starting to obstruct his breathing, but she did, running her fingers through his hair one last time before settling back on her heels to look at him. 

“You’re here.” She had that smile on her face that he loved, the one that said she couldn’t stop smiling even if she tried. It felt nice to know he could make her smile like that.

“You look good.” Danny shook his head, adjusting his hoodie a little self-consciously. 

“Not really. I’ve been either on a plane or in an airport for over a full day. I must look like a zombie.”

“Yeah, but a cute zombie.” She tweaked his nose and smirked. “Why don’t we go back into my office? Margaret, you can go home. I’m done with work for the day.”

“But I-“

“Margaret, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, you don’t need to eavesdrop.” Margaret suppressed a smile, but stepped back. “Come on in.” CJ stepped aside to let Danny into the office and followed, shutting the door quietly behind her. The first thing he noticed was how much bigger it was. Her old office had been small, incredibly small, or maybe it was just cluttered. Either way, there was enough room in her new office for a second sofa, or even a third. The second thing he noticed was the fishbowl on the edge of her desk.

“Gail!” He knelt down to look at her swimming around the bowl. “I can’t believe she’s still alive,” he said, turning to CJ.

“What, you don’t think I can take care of my fish?”

“Our fish,” he corrected. “Also, no.” She smacked the back of his head.

“Don’t be rude.”

“I’m sorry, you’re extremely capable.”

“There we go.” Danny straightened, tugging at the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

“I feel a little underdressed. I didn’t have time to change or anything before I-“

“Don’t worry about it.” CJ was kicking off her heels, padding across the hardwood floor in bare feet, at the same time reaching up to take out her earrings, which she dropped in a sparkling emerald pile on the desk. “It’s after hours.”

“I remember what it was like here after hours.” Danny wiggles his eyebrows. “I liked after hours.”

“Don’t be crass. Now come on, tell me what you’ve been up to. You disappeared after the inauguration.”

“Me? Come on, you got, like, six promotions in one, what’s that like?”

“Way to dodge the question, fishboy.”

“I learned from the queen.” Danny watched her fall back into her desk chair, looking more exhausted than he had ever seen her before.

“It’s good. Mostly. I’m on a little bit of a learning curve, what with my degree in public relations and the fact that I spent six years with almost no policy influence and now I’m pretty much responsible for all of it. So yeah. It’s good.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Would you go look in that cabinet? There should be a bottle of wine in there.” She pointed vaguely at a large mahogany cabinet. “It’s all I can do not to chug it every time I have to go into the sit room.” Danny found a bottle of red wine that looked extremely expensive and two glasses. “You never answered my question,” she said as he sat back down. “What have you been up to?” Danny rolled his eyes.

“Not much. You need a corkscrew?” 

“Nah.” CJ opened the top drawer of her desk and pulled one out. “Now answer the damn question.”

“Fine. After the inauguration, I got kinda lost for a while. I just wanted to go anywhere, so I did. The Post needed a new international correspondent, so I let them send me anywhere there was any kind of government instability. Moscow, Caracas, Manila. Anywhere they’d let me go.”

“Wow.” CJ pushes a glass of wine over to him and settled back in her chair. “I sometimes wish I could do that. Pick up everything and take off to a new country every week.”

“It’s nice. Sometimes.” Danny stared down into his wine glass.

“It’s lonely, isn’t it?” His head snapped up, but he wasn’t really that surprised. She always seemed to know him.

“Yeah. It is, a little.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t think it’s any less lonely here.” CJ was looking right at him, those green eyes just barely covering the world beneath. “It’s weird, you know. I mean, I knew it would be different. But it’s not just different, it’s not even… I don’t know, the world just seems a little too big now. Like I went from being six feet tall to two feet.”

“What, being chief of staff? I mean, that makes sense, with the scope being so much wider-“

“No, Danny.” A smile played at the corners of her lips, and she looked almost incredulous. “It started a long time before that. It started after you left. The first time and every time after that, because you just keep leaving.”

“Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that.” Danny had always hoped she hadn’t minded when he left. Actually, it was more that he believed it. He couldn’t help but think that every time he left, it brought her a little relief, now that she didn’t have the pressure of his stupid little crush. “I thought it might make your life a little easier.”

“And you didn’t want to ask me if that was true or not before you took off for Venezuela the week after the inauguration?” CJ cleared her throat and shook her head. “Nope. Not going to do this tonight. I’m glad you’re back.”

“For a couple days, anyway.”

“Yeah.” She stared pensively into Gail’s bowl now, tapping her fingers absentmindedly on the desk. “I just thought-“Danny hesitated with his wine glass halfway to his mouth. “No. Never mind.” The glass made a delicate  _ clink  _ as it made contact with the mahogany. “I just thought life would be simpler for you without me. You could just be the press secretary. And not worry about if someone was going to think you were leaking stories to me because we were… and I wouldn’t have to feel bad because I thought you were leaking stories to me because we were… I just thought it’d bring us both a little peace.”

“And you didn’t think to ask me if that was what I wanted? No, you just assumed. Like you always do. You assumed you knew what was best, like you assumed I’d want you to come back before, like you assumed I would go out with you eventually, like you assumed I liked actual goldfish instead of the damn crackers!” Danny sank in his seat. She’d never admonished him, not like this. Not over something that wasn’t work-related. CJ bit her lip, appeared to consider saying more, and shook her head. Her eyes were lowered to Gail, swishing around in her empty bowl.

“I’m sorry,” he found himself saying because he didn’t have anything else to say. “Just… I didn’t hear from you. First the calls stopped. Then the emails stopped. I figured you just… forgot about me.” She looked up at him then, and he realized there were angry tears in her eyes. Silently, she bent down and jerked open the lowest drawer of her desk. She pulled something out of it, something he couldn’t see as she stood and circled the desk until she was standing right next to him, close enough for him to smell her perfume. She slammed the thing in her hands down in front of him, flinching at the noise, as if she hadn’t expected it to be so loud. 

“I  _ never  _ forgot about you.” As she put her shoes back on and pulled her coat around her shoulders, Danny looked down at the object on the desk. It was a photo of them, taken at one of the half-dozen inaugural balls they had attended. This one, Danny remembered well, because CJ had worn a red dress and he thought he had never seen anyone more beautiful in his life. In the picture, they were dancing, and CJ had her head testing on his shoulder. He could still feel her hand in his, her back warm under his palm. He recognized it well as the photo he had carried with him in his wallet for almost two years. The door had opened behind him, CJ holding it, looking pointedly at the painting on the wall behind him. Reluctantly, he stood, and left the office, wincing as the door banged shut.

“CJ-“ he said once out in the hall, holding out a hand to stop her. To his credit, she did stop, for a moment, and met his eyes, and said three words, spitting them out as if they were made of acid and if she didn’t get them out soon, they might burn through her jaw. 

“ _ You  _ left _ me. _ ” She shouldered past him, knocking him into the wall, heels clacking on the floor as she swept down the hall, footsteps not quite loud enough to mask the gasping sobs that left her as she went. Danny leaned against the wall, looked once back into her office, then once down the hall at the steadily fading woman in high heels, and hurried after her.


	2. Chapter 2

C.J. could hear Danny follow her as she desperately tried to control her sobs. She leaned against the wall, eyes shut tight, hands on her stomach. She didn’t hear Danny approach but she could feel him. Could feel the comforting warmth radiating from his body, his breath light on her skin. 

“C.J.-” Danny tried. C.J. held up her hand without opening her eyes. 

“ _ Don’t _ ,” she hissed. Hot tears stained C.J.’s face even though she tried so hard to fight them. Danny didn’t move. C.J. hadn’t expected to see him today. In fact, she hadn’t expected to see him ever. She thought Danny wouldn’t come back to her, thought he’d left her for good. And she had been fine. Whenever Danny Concannon would creep into her thoughts late at night, she would shove him away, hide him in a treasure chest and throw away the key. It was only when she saw him outside her office, standing there, with his scruffy face and messed up red hair, that she realised how much she’d missed him. C.J. took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. Danny just stood there, looking at her with those kind eyes she never really could resist.    
“Sorry,” she mumbled as she wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve.    
“You have nothing to apologise for,” Danny said, nudging her foot with his own. C.J. huffed and something one might have considered a smile played across her face. 

“I’m sorry for just coming by without a warning. I should have called first. Made an appointment.”   
“I probably wouldn’t have picked up the phone,” C.J. half laughed half sniffed. 

“No, probably not,” Danny agreed. C.J. just looked at Danny for a moment. He hadn’t changed much. His eyes still sparkled when he looked at her and he had that cheeky smile like he was about to say something he probably shouldn’t. 

“I’m glad you didn’t call,” C.J. whispered. 

“You know me. Always an element of surprise.”    
“Oh, shut up.” C.J. playfully hit Danny’s arm but when she touched his shirt, she let her hand linger there for just a second longer. She had missed the way he felt underneath her fingertips. 

“I- uhm. I really should go home,” C.J. stammered and started walking back to her office. Danny followed, a few paces behind her. “Where’re you staying?” C.J. asked as she put on her coat. 

“No idea,” Danny admitted. C.J. frowned at him. 

“ _ Danny _ !”    
“What?”    
“It’s two o’clock in the morning.” C.J. grabbed her purse and checked to see if she had her phone. 

“So?” Danny looked at her as if she was speaking Chinese. 

“You’ll never be able to get a room at this hour,” C.J. told him and started walking out of the office. 

“You never know until you try.” Danny shrugged and followed her. 

“Don’t be silly,” C.J. said and turned around so quickly, Danny had no time to stop and walked straight into her. She gripped his shoulders to keep her balance and Danny gently put his hands on her waist. 

“Whoa,” he said, his face only inches from hers.    
“Sorry,” C.J. mumbled but she didn’t let go of his shoulders. She looked into his eyes for a moment, wondering if they had always been this blue. 

“You okay?” he asked, still holding her waist. C.J. nodded, slowly lifting her hands from his shoulders. 

“Anyways,” C.J. burst out slightly louder than she had anticipated. Danny took a step back from her. “You can’t stay at a hotel,” C.J. told him matter of factly as she made her way to her car where her Secret Service Agents were already waiting for her. 

“And what do you suppose I do then? Stay with you?” 

“Yes.” It shot out of her before she could stop herself. 

“C.J….” Danny looked at her in disbelief. She stood in front of the car, the door already open.

“Come on.” C.J. held out her hand to him. Danny hesitated for a moment, looking as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do. As if C.J. offering him her hand was something he never thought she’d do when, in fact, it was something C.J. had wanted to do since the day she met him. C.J. looked at Danny, her eyes wide and sincere, and he took a step forward, placing his hand in hers. 

They were silent in the car. He sat in the back with her, their shoulders pressed together, fingers still intertwined. C.J. closed her eyes for a moment as she rested her head on Danny’s shoulder. She was going home with Danny Concannon. She knew she shouldn’t be, knew it would only distract her. Yet here she was, in the back of her car with the man she might very well have been in love with for the past eight years. Danny placed her hand in his lap and started stroking it with the thumb. It felt nice. Like something he would do after a long day at work or in the back of a taxi on their way to a fundraiser. The car came to a sudden halt and made C.J. snap out of her daydream. Danny gently pulled her hand. 

“You awake?” he asked, his voice no louder than a whisper. C.J. sat up and let go of his hand. She missed it immediately, the warmth and comfort it brought her. She got out of the car, Danny on the other side, and walked to her apartment. The agents followed her, politely keeping their distance. Danny was beside her, silently keeping her company. 

“So this is where you live,” he said as they waited for the agents to clear the flat. 

“This is where I live.”    
“Cool.” An awkward silence befell them and C.J. tried desperately to think of something to say. Work? No, not a good topic. Most of it was classified information. Before she had time to think of anything else the agent stepped out of her apartment and gestured for them to go in. She thanked him and closed the door behind her. Danny Concannon was now in her living room. It startled her how right he looked. Like he was supposed to be there. 

“Nice place,” Danny told her as she scanned the walls. 

“Thanks,” C.J. mumbled, a little self conscious. The room wasn’t exactly messy but she might have tidied up a bit if she knew she would have company. “I’m not here much.”    
“No?” Danny turned to look at her. C.J. shook her head. “Well, I like it.” Danny gestured towards a picture on the window sill. “That’s a cute picture.” He walked closer to it and C.J. followed, standing behind him, looking over his shoulder. The photograph showed C.J. and the president, dancing at his second inaugural ball. She was wearing a dark green dress that went all the way to the floor and exposed most of her back. Her hair was pinned up with a few locks framing her face. The president was smiling up at her and she was laughing at something he said. But that wasn’t what caught C.J.’s attention. 

“Hey, that’s you,” she said and pointed to the upper left corner of the picture. Danny was standing in the back, champaign in hand, watching C.J. spin around on the dance floor. “You look enchanted,” C.J. stated, laughing a little. She could feel Danny’s eyes on her.    
“Yeah, well…,” Danny said. “I was.” C.J. turned to look at him. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” His face was so close to her. Only inches away. If she moved her head, just a little, their lips would brush. But she didn’t. He did. And suddenly, they were kissing. It was tender at first, careful, gentle. Danny wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, their bodies pressed against each other. C.J.’s hands ghosted over Danny’s shoulders until they found their place on his neck. Their tongues found each other, dancing with desire, before Danny pulled away, leaving C.J. aching for more. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, taking a step back from her. He looked embarrassed, as he looked at his feet, scratching the back of his neck. 

“I’m not,” C.J. told him firmly and grabbed his hand, pulling him back towards her. Their mouths met halfway and soon Danny’s hand was in her hair, pulling her closer and C.J. was shoving off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor with a loud thud. She fumbled with the belt of her coat, their mouths never parting. C.J. didn’t want this to stop. Not ever. She wanted to always feel him this close, to have him near her, to hold her in his arms. She threw her coat on the floor and dragged Danny towards her couch. She let herself fall between the pillows, pulling Danny with her. He was kissing her neck, her jaw, her collarbone, making C.J. arch her back towards him. She wanted to run her hands all over his body, explore every inch of his skin. She wanted to memorise it and never forget. She had never felt like this before. And it scared her. Scared her because she might lose it again. Scared her because she didn’t know if Danny felt the same way. Scared her because she didn’t want to admit just how much she wanted this. Suddenly, C.J. pulled away. Danny looked up at her, confused but not angry. Never angry. 

“Do you want some tea?” C.J. blurted out. 

“What?” 

“Do you want some tea?” C.J. repeated. 

“I… uhm… sure?” Danny looked at her as if she had gone mad. C.J. jumped up from the couch.    
“I’ll be back.” She made her way across the room and into the kitchen, leaving Danny alone - and probably very confused - on the couch. She put the kettle on and found two mugs in her cupboard that she hadn’t used in ages. The tea she found was probably many years old but it would have to do. While the water boiled, C.J. leaned against the kitchen counter closing her eyes. What was she doing? This was Danny. Danny Concannon. She had been making out with Danny Concannon only a minute ago and now she was making him tea. C.J. reached up and found the spot where he had kissed her, just beneath her ear, and smiled, biting her lower lip, as she thought about his soft lips on her skin. 

C.J. turned around and put the hot water into the mugs and walked back into the living room. Danny was still on the sofa, now reading a magazine she had left on the coffee table. 

“Anything interesting?” she asked as she handed Danny one cup and sat down next to him, kicking off her shoes. Their knees touched - if only for a moment - before C.J. shifted so she was sitting with her legs tucked beneath her, slender fingers wrapped around the steaming mug. 

“Well, I now know that some famous woman is pregnant and that her husband - who is also famous by the way - might not actually be the father,” Danny said before taking a sip from his tea. 

“That doesn’t sound particularly interesting,” C.J. admitted, looking at Danny over the edge of her cup. 

“Not really, no.” They sat in silence for a while, sneaking secret glances when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Danny made no attempt to move closer to her, giving C.J. the space he knew she needed. 

“Danny, what is this?” C.J. asked and put her now empty cup on the coffee table. 

“What do you mean?” Danny mirrored her gesture and put his mug down as well. 

“What is  _ this _ ?” C.J. gestured between them. “What are we doing? What is this to you?” Before Danny could even get one word in, C.J. went on. “Is this just so you can cross me off your list?”   
“What list?” Danny asked but C.J. ignored him. 

“So you can say ‘I finally slept with C.J. Cregg’? So you can pride yourself with the fact that you finally got to me? That you persuaded me after all these years.”   
“C.J….” Danny looked hurt by her words. 

“Or is it because you genuinely care for me?” She normally didn’t care that much why somebody wanted to sleep with her. But this was Danny. There were too many feelings involved for this to be just a casual one night stand. 

“C.J.,” Danny said. “Do you really think I flew halfway across the world just so I could sleep with you?” C.J. looked down at her hands. 

“I suppose not,” she mumbled. When she looked back up again, there were tears in her eyes. “What do you want, Danny?” C.J. asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“What I want?” Danny repeated. “C.J., I want  _ you _ .” He laughed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I want you in whatever way you’ll have me. I don’t want to scare you or push you away. I just want to be with you. That’s all. I just want to hold you at night when you fall asleep and kiss you in the morning. I want to make you coffee before you go to work and cook dinner for when you get back. I want-” Before he could continue, C.J.’s lips were on his again, her arms wrapped around his neck. His mouth was exploring hers, his hands pressed against her waist. 

“C.J., I-”   
“No talking,” she told him firmly, as she pulled Danny down with her so he was laying on top of her. C.J. tried to pull him even closer, leaving no space between them. Their fingers intertwined and for a moment everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. Danny ran his hand beneath her shirt against her bare skin, making her shiver. His mouth was on her neck, gently kissing his way down to her collar bone. C.J. tugged at his t-shirt and tried to pull it over his head. Danny stopped what he was doing and looked at her. 

“You sure you want this?” he asked, his hand still on her waist. C.J. only nodded. “Because I don’t want you to do anything you might regret in the morning. And I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you because it’s late and you’re tired and you’re probably not thinking straight. This is not to say that you aren’t thinking or that you can’t make your own decisions-” 

“Danny?” C.J. cut in. 

“Yeah?”   
“What did I say?”    
“No talking.” 

“That’s right.” 

“Okay,” Danny whispered before removing his shirt and tossing it on the floor. C.J. looked at him for a moment, before running her hands over his bare arms. His skin felt nice beneath her fingers, warm and comforting. Danny leaned in and kissed her. His lips were soft and he tasted of chamomile tea and honey. C.J. unzipped her skirt and Danny pulled it down to her knees. C.J. wriggled out of it and made it land somewhere on the floor. Danny ran his hand along the inside of her thigh, making C.J. gasp. 

“Danny?” C.J. mumbled. He pulled his hand back immediately, as if he was scared he had done something she didn’t want him to. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can we move this to the bedroom?” she asked, her cheeks flushed. “This isn’t exactly comfortable.” Danny answered by getting off C.J. and scooping her up in his arms, making her squeal. 

“Danny, you’re crazy,” she laughed as she placed her arms around his neck. No one had ever picked her up like that. She liked it, though. It made her feel like a delicate flower. They entered the bedroom and C.J. didn’t bother to ask him to turn on the light. She preferred the dark. In the dark she didn’t have to worry about what he thought of her body, if she looked sexy enough, if he found her hideous. In the dark, she could let go. 

Danny placed C.J. on the bed and climbed on top of her, as C.J. reached down to unzip his pants. Danny quickly removed them, abandoning them, along with his socks, in a pile on the floor.    
“This seems highly unnecessary,” he told her and tugged at her shirt. C.J. nodded in agreement. 

“We should get rid of it,” she said and started to unbutton it. Her hands were shaking slightly so Danny helped her, starting from the last button and working his way up to her chest. When he was done, C.J. got out of her shirt and threw it, not caring where it landed. “And these,” C.J. said, as she tugged at his underpants. “I don’t think we need these.” Danny crooked his eyebrow and smirked at her before leaning down and kissing her chest. He let her remove his underwear, her fingers brushing against his erection. Danny reached one hand beneath her and C.J. arched her back towards him so he could unclasp her bra. She felt so exposed now, so vulnerable. But Danny just kept kissing her. Even as he reached down, his fingers lingering over the fabric of her underpants. He stopped, waiting for her to tell him it was alright. That this was what she really wanted. C.J. nodded and within seconds her last piece of clothing was removed and thrown on the floor. Danny lifted himself up and looked at her. She could feel his eyes scanning every inch of her bare skin.    
“Wow,” was all Danny said as he ran his fingers down her side. C.J. could feel herself blush all the way down her neck. “You’re so beautiful.” C.J., who had been looking anywhere but at Danny, lifted her gaze and met his stare. 

That night, after eight years of unconsummated passion, C.J. finally let go. She let Danny Concannon run his hands over her naked body, let him do things she wouldn’t even have dreamed of when she first met him. 

And afterwards, when they were lying next to each other, Danny’s arm wrapped loosely around her waist, she let herself breathe. Danny gently kissed her shoulder as he pulled her a little closer to him. They were silent but C.J. could sense Danny thinking. 

“Don’t say it,” C.J. whispered. “Don’t say it yet.” 

“Okay,” Danny said, running his hand over her stomach. 

“I already know.” Danny buried his face in her hair. 

“Okay,” he said again. 

“I do too,” C.J. whispered and she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted him to hear. 

“I know,” he told her. And just like that, they fell asleep. 


End file.
